The (New) New Map of Feelings
The Old Map of Feelings
Feelings in modern culture are seen in a very confusing way. Some people say “don’t feel them”, others say “accept them”, and nobody really knows what to do with them.
If you are angry? “go run, discharge this bad energy…”.
Are you afraid? “you can’t, you are vibrating low” “a sign of weakness, men don’t feel afraid” “stop being so paranoid”.
If you are sad? “raise your head” “feeling sad will not get you anywhere” “stop dramatizing, there is no reason to be sad” “swallow the cry, you don’t want to be a killjoy”.
And even joy is not well accepted because if you are too happy, then “you are childish” “don’t you watch the news? are you alienated?” “don’t you have a bill to pay?
In general, feeling is not well accepted, and people are always looking for escape valves to get rid of their own feelings.
And it’s actually quite understandable why people think this way. If you haven’t learned how to use your feelings in a conscious way, then they just seem like a big stone in your shoe that bothers you frequently and makes you get out of control.
Just like fire, they can be very destructive if you don’t know how to use them, and very valuable if you do.
The New Map of Feelings
From the discovery that our feelings are not a manufacturing error of the human species, but are actually internal resources that we can use to deal with things in our lives, came the ‘New Map of Feelings’. Instead of the basic equation of the old map (feelings = bad) the new map brings a different proposal, with 2 equations that contemplate the dimension of your emotional body:
1 — [ Feelings = Neutral Energy and Information for you to deal with things in your life].
What categorizes a feeling? — Anger, fear, sadness & joy. they last less than 3 minutes. they are about the present, and as soon as you hear the information and use the energy they bring, they instantly leave your body.
2 [ Emotions = gateways to healing something ].
What categorizes an emotion? — they can also be anger, fear, sadness & joy, with the addition of the combination mixtures between them, such as: [depression (anger & sadness)] [loneliness (sadness & fear)] [aggression (anger & fear)] and so on…. The main difference in the case would be that emotions last longer than 3 minutes and are not about the present. they are born from past wounds, survival strategies, and contaminations of your ego state. Emotions also tend to be disproportionate to the trigger that invokes them, but the person who feels them hardly notices this, because from the inside, they seem very “real”.
These two distinctions are powerful tools for navigating your emotional body and creating things with your feelings and emotions rather than supressing them and letting them create chaos in your life by unconsciously leaking and exploding everywhere.
The Research of a (New) New Map of Feelings
After using The New Feelings Map daily for more than a year I started to miss something… it is very precise and in most situations delivered me the possibility of a clear next step: if it’s a feeling — listen to the information and use the energy. if it is an emotion — take it to an Emotional Healing Process to find out what to heal from it. but the feeling that sometimes something was missing started to bother me… and then in a Fear Club with Anne-Chlóe Destremau, I saw how she allowed herself to rediscover her own fear, and with that I allowed myself to also rediscover how I see my feelings.
I could feel that has a new distinction there with me, it just didn’t have words yet.
In the last few weeks I have been testing words for it, and practicing it in my daily life, the results are bringing me much more clarity in my relationship with my emotional body.
The New New Map is (for now):
Feelings = neutral energy and information, invoked by different I’s, to deal with things in life.
What categorizes a feeling? — Anger, fear, sadness & joy. they last less than 3 minutes. they are about the present, and as soon as you hear the information and use the energy they bring , they instantly leave your body.
Emotions = gateways to heal something. neutral energy and information, invoked by different I’s, for different purposes related to: surviving, unconscious expression of suppressed feelings, actions born out of parental voices, use of feelings to serve shadow purposes, and so on…
What categorizes an emotion? can also be anger, fear, sadness & joy, with the addition of the combination mixtures between them, for example: [depression (anger & sadness)] [loneliness (sadness & fear)] [aggression (anger & fear)] and so on…. Emotions last more than 3 minutes.
Emotions are gateways for you to heal something because: they are born from wounds that your BEING has suffered (or protections that you built so that it wouldn’t be wounded) that no longer match the adult and archetypal life that you want to live today; they are gateways for you to heal something because today they are walls that have stopped protecting your BEING from the world, and have started preventing the world from the non-material value of your BEING.
The “New New Map” does not invalidate the “New map”, it’s only a research for deepening it.
“ The Different “I’s ”
The main driver for the beginning of a “New New Map” was the observation that my Feelings and Emotions seemed to come from different “I’s”. by mapping out what these different I’s are I came up with some embodiments:
BEING; the natural and authentic expression of who I am. he often uses the energy of feelings as a bridge to communicate what he cares about, and to create the life he wants for me.
GREMLIN; the king and queen of my underworld, the active part of my box and also part of my BEING as an incredible source of non-linearity and action unconstrained by any rules, laws or concepts. Most of the time he is invoking an emotion in me for the purpose of protecting me from something from the past, to fulfill some oath I have taken, or to do some work I have given him.
NEUTRAL BOX; the base layer of my box made to deal with basic day to day details like brushing my teeth, taking or not taking the umbrella when going out, driving the car, putting words together when communicating, etc… it usually invokes only small amounts of feelings to deal with the details of day to day life.
SURVIVAL BOX; this is the second layer of my box, and it was made for survival purposes. It uses larger amounts of emotions or feelings to support my “personality” and the various other survival strategies that I developed to survive the circumstances around me. Observing the emotions that are invoked by it opens many doorways to EHPs, memetic work, and consciousness expansions that make this “I” (SURVIVAL BOX) liquid and transform the way I express myself in the world, and the way I take responsibility for the consciousness I acquire.
EXPANSION BOX; this is the third layer of my box, and it is born out of initiations into adulthood ( such as Expand The Box ), and the choice to live a life of expansion. it strives to embrace memes, distinctions and empowering stories that can move me towards expansion. it often uses feelings, but also creates emotions as I update my toughtware and the need for revision for some decisions arise.
5 BODIES; these are your Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Energetic and Archetypal bodies that use feelings to ask for what they need and create things in your life. they can also carry emotions and wounds that need to be seen.
The purpose here is not to fragment!
You are only one, and all of these “I’s” work together within you. the purpose of this distinction between the different types of I’s is to bring more clarity to your internal navigation, understanding which part of you is invoking the chemicals, energies, sensations and informations of each one of your 4 basic feelings, and for what purpose that part is doing so, so that you can consciously decide what to do with it.
note:
I didn’t discuss this during the article but I highly recommend that you relate to your feelings using only Anger, Fear, Sadness and Joy. When emotionally navigating any other (name for feeling) that you know about, you will probably find that it is rooted in a mixture of 2 or more of the basic feelings. Being able to relate to them right at the root opens up many possibilities for action and healing.
EXPERIMENT:
For you to find out if this “New New Map” fits you, my proposal is that the next 11 times that you feel Anger, Fear, Sadness or Joy, you go all the way through this process:
1- I feel……. (anger, fear, sadness or joy) about……….
2- from which “I” comes this……(anger, fear, sadness or joy) and for what purpose?
3- is this a feeling or an emotion?]
4 [if a feeling]- what do you have for me? — listen to the information and use the energy.
4 [if it is an emotion] — write down at the end of your beep book the emotion, take of what it is about, which “I” it comes from, what purpose that “I” has, and take it to an Emotional Healing Process.
*I don’t use this process all the time*
It has no need for thinking about which part of you invoked that feeling every time you feel something , it’s not a mental process. Usually, just feeling the feeling, and asking, what do you have for me? Will already bring a clear next step for you. This process is more than anything: One more possibility and tool at hand for your internal navigation. It may happen that sometimes you will need more clarity to distinguish if what you are feeling is a feeling (to act) or if it is an emotion (to heal). Or you may even need more clarity about: do what? and cure what? In this case, this new possibility can be very useful.
If this distinction brings clarity to you, please share this article with your circle.
Poetic final considerations:
From these new eyes I begin to see feelings as the primal communication language of the human being. our I’s communicate and relate to the world through our feelings long before we discover the world of words; maybe that is why Art that speaks a language prior to logic and closer to feelings touches our hearts so deeply.
I believe that it is in this language that we, the parents of the coming generations, need to become fluent in, so that we can create a safe space for the children in the world, and receive them in their native language.
The universal language is not Esperanto, it is feelings.
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